Well, I just wan't to let my thoughts out and write them out to release some stress of mine.
I guess that from now on I have to become a different person and that will leave some marks and will be extremely hard to accomplish. Some stuff that becomes part of us it's hard to let it go and it will cost a lot of hard work, sweat and perhaps tears.
For the past few weeks, I've been having exams after exams after exams and let's say that they didn't go as well as I was expecting. Why? Some procrastination, involving watching 3 seasons of a tv show instead of studying, which resulted in crying and failing at those subjects, and watching a lot of youtube videos.
I'll admit, I have a lot of youtubers that I like, admire and look up to because I think that they are just amazing and cheer up a lot of us and that's really awesome. They can make a lot of people forget about the crap life that they have and just be happy for 5 to 15 minutes while watching a video. Most of people don't understand the reason why but for me is really simple: we are all just human beings but some of us are made for entertaining others and that's ok. There's nothing wrong to watch a video about a haul video or a comedy sketch or a video game gameplay. Is just a normal thing that normal people do and there's nothing wrong with that. They make videos because they enjoy doing it and because they also know that they have viewrs that really like them and like their videos and look up to them because they maybe have that sparkle that came out of boredom and became that thing that a lot of us - mostly teenagers - look up for.
Me, for example, I look up to Zoella because she's a ordinary girl that had a simple talent: being a good blog writer. Normal? Yes, but she had that sparkle that made people read her blog and wanting more that they were the ones that encourage her to starting making youtube videos and now look at where she is: her youtube channel as over 5 million subscribers, 1.8 million twitter followers, write her own book and much more. And it all started with simple blog that was wanted by thousands of people.
I look up to a lot of others youtubers, because not speaking for only myself, but they cheer up our day with just a video with 5 to 15 minutes about something that make us smile, laugh or think about our loves and we just connect with them so well that they became part of our lives. We become part of this world that has millions and millions of people that like the same things as us and don't discriminate us because of something stupid like our hair for example. Instead, we built a lot of friendships bounded by one simple person.
For me, as been a part of my life for almost 2 years and I think that as became 90% of me: it helped me when I was discriminated and bullied by some of my classmates and my old university course. And it hurts because now I have to cut it in about 50%. It really helped my forgetting those aspects that I didn't like in my life and placed a smile in my face when I didn't want one. Most people don't believe that some random person can make a difference in other's life, and I believe because it helped me a lot and if can make a difference for me, can also make a difference for someone across the world.
I think that it's just stupid to write this in the beginning on summer, because in that time I'll have all the time of the world to do what ever I want but, if I have to redeem myself I have to start early before it's too late and have to repeat all subjects again and be in a deep depression. But I think that I'll still trying to write my thoughts on this blog and stuff.
If anyone is reading this, I just want to thank you for having the patience to read the feelings of a girl that just wants to improve her life. Sorry if I bored you.
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